Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
