woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
