I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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