I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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