where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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