I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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