Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize