So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize