Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
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he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Let's paint friendship bongs
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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