am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Randomize