her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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