you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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