hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I cut my penus on the lid.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
