he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
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