If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
one might say we're banned from that church
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize
