you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
