how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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