I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
