i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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