so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Randomize
