good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.