is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
