On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
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After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.