Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same