We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
