What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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