Do vagina's smell?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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