He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
