Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
