remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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