no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
worst night to have a conscience
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
