evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Randomize
