My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
