Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
