you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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