Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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