You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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