I wannas sexs uuuuu
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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