it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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