You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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