Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
