I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
