my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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