as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
