where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Even my vagina gasped.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
