I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
