you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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