he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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