She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
