Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
