I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
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Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
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You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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