There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
