The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Your tits are I can't wait for
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
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I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
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I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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