he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Randomize
