Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
