She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
false alarm, still single
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
