Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize