dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
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Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
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and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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