He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
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Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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