saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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