Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
