Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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