He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
