NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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