check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
