And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I want a musical about memes.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
