I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
