"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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